


To Someone I Once Loved

by God217



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Lowkey a vent, also aesthetics lol, by lowkey i mean highkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God217/pseuds/God217
Summary: Saeran's internal struggle after Saeyoung left him, stuck between missing and hating him





	To Someone I Once Loved

_To someone I once loved_ ,

_You meant the world to me._

_If you'd needed me to, I'd have given up my life, and everything I owned, in a heartbeat._

_I don't think you care._

_But finding out that I never meant the same to you, it hurts more than you know._

_But I won't cry._

_You don't deserve it._

⊱ ────────────────── ⊰

Saeran sits in his chair, staring at the screen in front of his eyes.

Lines of code keep flashing up, filling the blackness as he types, his fingers moving nonstop, not a single bit of hesitation in the moves he's studied now.

 

_**Saeyoung, why did you leave me?** _

 

The thoughts keep coming back, the thoughts he can't get rid of.

They're in his mind as if he were hearing them not thinking, as if some invisible being were whispering them to him.

He hates them.

But he's used to them.

 

_**You promised we'd be together.** _

 

His head shakes in annoyance, the tapping on the keyboard not ceasing.

He has work to do.

The past is past.

 

_**You're a l̶i̶a̵r̸.** _

 

But it's true, and he can't stop himself from thinking it, his hands suddenly gripping the table in front of him, hard.

Does he want to cry, or does he want to break something in rage?

He doesn't know.

Nothing feels right.

 

_**A̶l̷l̸ ̶y̷o̷u̵ ̶e̷v̶e̴r̵ ̶d̷i̶d̴ ̶w̴a̵s̶ l̵͇̎i̸̟͝ė̸̖.** _

 

All those times Saeyoung has talked to him, all the conversations they shared.

Years, every single day.

He still can’t believe that none of it has ever been true.

 

_**L̸̗̋i̴̦â̸͇r̵͚̔.** _

 

It has always felt so real.

He’s always thought Saeyoung loved him, because he’s loved Saeran endlessly.

He’d have trusted him blindly and without a doubt.

 

_**I miss you so much.** _

 

For a second he’s a child again, lonely and helpless, still believing the brother he’s loved would come back.

Still thinking that his brother loves him.

 

_**Ṭ̵̄r̸͖͂â̴̹i̶̬̋t̵̻̎ö̴̮́r̷͍̈́.** _

 

He won’t come back, and he never loved him.

His precious friends are more important to him, that hypocrite that stole him away with his words.

He’ll never come back, and Saeran doesn’t want him to.

_I want you back._  
_**Ḯ̷̯̝̜̊̒̋̇̈̅̇͝ ̸̡̡͈̣̦͍̝͖̞̣͎̣̙͓̘̰̤͍͝ ̸̢̡̧̨̦̻͚̻̩̼͈͉̝̪͚̩͇͓̪̠̬̮̋͆͜ͅW̶̢͚̪̙̼͕̙̹̟̼̥̳̹̞̿̀͋̄͋̾̿͝͝ ̵̹̮̰͖̝͖̟͕̜̼̳̦͍̞̬̭͇͔̱͓̗̠̝͐̇̅͒̒͂̃̚̕͜͝Ā̸̢̧̠̗̹̲̺̭͙͔̳̘͕̠͙̯͕̻͇̻̗̓̊̽͌̾̔͑̓̃̋͑͋͛̍̋̃͊̏̂̄̕͜ͅͅͅ ̵̧͍͇̩̮͇̯̞̲̾̈́̈́͒͆͜ͅͅN̷̡̖̲̩̂̑̅̕ ̸̡̛͈̠͕̥͇̞̱̘̬̞̺͕̣̫̱̺̭̞̟̩͊͐́̐̊̈́̃̔̒̒̑͛͋̅̎͒̇̓̕͝͝ͅT̵̲̐̅̓͂ ̵̰̤̰̩̦̰͗̔̃͋̇̆̊̾͘ͅ ̷̧̢̨̛̛͙̭͚̣̪̬̖̘̳͉̣̤̠̲͉̣̳̺̯͓̖̪̒̆̂̾̄̆̏̆̂̌͐͊̍̌̕̕͜ ̷̟̩̖͎̥̫̯̬̓́̓̋̆̈͒̕͜͝Y̸̧̬͉̟̪̍̋̽̊̍͑̓͗̏̍͗̕̚̚͝ ̵̧̭͎͈̭̺̼̳̩̦͚̯͚̜̦͎̟̠̬̹̔̍͌̇͜͜͜͠O̴͈͔̦̼̝̥̯͔̥̓ͅ ̷̢̢̧̡̧̤͕̤̲̳̗̯͈̺̭̺̺̖͇͉̣̦U̵͓̹̎̿͘ͅ ̶̩̝͈̘̣̙͚̲̣̭͚̻̞͇̣͖̤͍̱͉̖̫͓̰̪̎̔̃͌̓͜͝ ̷̢̛̗͎̣̳̳̼̝̺̃͊̓̈̋̈̈̓̈́͆͊̽̽ͅ ̸̛̩̺͕̘̠̳͕̘͍̮̜̟̲̙̝̽̒̆̃̎͋̌̆̈́̌̇͗̌̋̅͑ͅD̷̢̡̠̮̯̼̥̭̬̔͐̌̈͒̋̓̑͐̎̈́̽̄̚͘ ̸̨̨͕͙̞̳̱̻̗̠̼͈̼̙̥̬̣̻͕̪̀̂͐̄͑̍̿̓̀̔͒̎͋̊͘͝ͅE̸̡̢̲͖͚̠̣̼͓͌́́̚͜ ̷̢͈͕͍̦̞̖̞̩͍͓̻̺̫̟̯͓̝͙̟̏͌͑̈́̃̾̎̋̇͌̍̌̽̚͝͝͠ͅĄ̷̛̛̫͕̠̬̟̥̬͙͔͎̰̦͓̩̩͉̣̝̥̳̬͚͚̠͐̓̍̾̒̌͗̄̎̇̈́̈̿̿͊͗̅̈́͂͜͝͝͝ ̷̢̢͇̹̙͇̬̦̙͖̥̩̰̮̩̲͍̫̞̻̩͉͌̓͜D̸̨̛͙̦̝̙̯̼̠̤̤̝̟̺̺͇̝̉̋͋͊͑͂̇̈́͆̑̾̉̓͊̚̕̕͝͠ ̵̢̙̰͎̞͕́͒̎̐̈̃̍̎͒̏̀́͊̊̉̏̈́̄͌̓̕̕̕͝͝!̷̯̬̫̯̠̹͇͎͉̭̮̳̈̍̏̈́͗́͗̿͐́̏͛͛̕̚̚̚͠͠** _

 

 

Pain shoots through his head, a side effect of the elixir he knows all too well, but it’s bad again this day.

The voices are getting louder, and they can’t seem to agree.

It’s like his heart is fighting with his mind, and he doesn’t know which side to take.

No, he does know.

He won’t ever be weak again.

 

_**T̶h̴i̸s̵ ̷i̵s̴ ̷a̴l̶l̸ ̴y̷o̸u̶r̷ ̸f̷a̶u̷l̷t̵.̵** _

 

If only Saeyoung was gone, then it’d be over.

If he were gone, the voices would cease.

Silence would be so sweet to him.

 

_**Y̸o̵u̴'̸l̴l̷ ̴p̴a̴y̷.̶** _

 

He was cursed the moment he was born, but Saeyoung has cursed him for good, doomed him to a life of suffering where he could’ve saved him if he’d wanted.

But he’d chosen to abandon him.

 

_**I̴͔̚'̶͎̀l̸̩̚l̷͉̍ ̸̤͝m̵̤̎a̶̤̕k̸̨̏ė̴͇ ̷̖̚ẏ̸̢o̵̳̒ṵ̸̈́ ̸̘̚p̸̙͑a̶̝̎ỷ̸͎.̶̦͒** _

 

He doesn’t even really want his brother dead, but he wants it all to /stop/.

And it won’t stop until he’s gone for good.

He wants him to suffer the same way he has.

He wants revenge.

 

_**A̸̙̱̎͜r̴̠͊̚͝ḙ̵͑ ̴̣̯͖́̈́̾y̷̖͌͠ô̵̖̼͝u̵͍̹̗͂͒͘ ̴̦̺͙̈́̓̓s̷̹̞̾͛̑c̶̡̝̜̎ā̶͙r̸̢͠e̸̻͆d̸̬̰̟͑ ̴͕o̵̟̩̒̈́͒ͅf̸̨̛̥̗̌͛ ̵̲̳̞̎m̶͖̝͘ȩ̷̘͖̉͋ ̸̙̑y̵̰̙͔̓ę̸̘̫͐̅̄t̶͇̻͂̚?̵͓͙͉̏** _

 

He better be afraid.

Saeran isn’t weak anymore.

And he’ll never let Saeyoung in again, no matter what he does.

His brother is dead.

He died the day he left.

The redheaded hacker is no brother of his.

He’s the enemy.

 

_**I̷ ̶h̴a̷t̵e̴ ̴y̶o̵u̴,̵ ̸S̶a̷e̴y̶o̸u̷n̵g̸.̵** _

 

One day he’s going to regret everything he’s done to him.

One day, karma will get him back for all the lies and betrayal.

And if karma won’t, Saeran will.

⊱ ────────────────── ⊰

 

_**To someone I once loved,** _

_**You’re dead to me.** _


End file.
